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This is the first time any study has so comprehensively investigated the risk of anal sex among men who have sex with men.

To join, couples had to say up front that they sometimes don’t use protection—meaning no condoms, and the HIV-negative partner could not be on a daily Pr EP, or pre-exposure prophylaxis, regimen.

The man behind it, now sitting in shorts and T-shirt drinking herbal tea, starts with the breeziest of explanations for why he set up the service, which is currently launching a redesign; that he's a "matchmaker – it comes very naturally to me", and that he found online dating a bore. Coming out wasn't overnight." He would seek out other gay men to talk to, by going on Compu Serve and AOL's prototype chat services."That was very helpful for me," he says.

"The whole process was awful – spending so much time chatting, staying at home because I didn't want to miss messages – it's a full-time job! "I felt less isolated, less like a fr…" he stops and changes words, "like a weirdo," adding that what would have made an even greater difference was something that could have enabled him to find people close by.

You could also think back and ask yourself questions such as, who do you fantasize about the most?

The Partner study itself comes with a series of warnings about what exactly the study has really found about undetectable viral loads.

Researchers don’t recommend that undetectable gay and bi men have sex without the usual methods of protection, for example.

The landmark Partner study that everyone is talking about—which tracked HIV transmission risk through condomless sex if the HIV-positive partner is on suppressive antiretroviral medication—has so far found not even one case of an HIV-positive person with an undetectable viral load transmitting the virus to a partner.

But people in your everyday life may still be a little disbelieving.

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